"General Hospi-tale," The Afternoon Delights (1981)

A disco recap of your favorite soap opera

Peak: #31 on the Hot 100
Streams: N/A (it’s not available on Spotify!)

This song was requested by TLSP subscriber James A. You can request a song right here.

If you’ve just got it playing in the background, “General Hospi-tale” works as a funky disco tune. It’s similar to Blondie’s “Rapture,” and thanks to that horn section, it’s got a dash of Earth, Wind, and Fire.

And honestly, you could do worse. This is the rare novelty tune that also works as pop music. I’m not saying it’s gonna kick Gloria Gaynor off of disco’s Mount Rushmore, but it’s a heck of a lot more listenable than “Disco Duck.”

As for the lyrical content: The song is a recap of then-recent plot developments on General Hospital, buttressed by a few lines about how the singer can’t get enough of the show.

These days, it wouldn’t be surprising if somebody started a YouTube account that posted musical recaps of that day’s soaps, but this song was released ages before the internet era. It would’ve taken quite a few days to get it recorded, pressed, and mailed to radio stations and record stores. By the time all that happened, General Hospital would’ve aired loads of new episodes, rendering “General Hospi-tale” immediately out of date. Yet the single sold over 1 million copies. Over a million people were content to dance around to yesterday’s soap opera news!

But at least the artists embraced this silliness. The group is named for “Afternoon Delight,” the #1 single by Starland Vocal Band. By 1981, Starland Vocal Band had already become the poster children for one-hit wonders, and I respect the Afternoon Delights for choosing a name that acknowledges they won’t be around for long either.

The other delicious detail here is that “General Hospi-tale” was co-written by Lisa “Lips” Tedesco, who in 1981 was a “soap updater” for K108, a radio station near Boston. “Soap updater” used to a job on the radio, then it became a job for podcasters and online recappers. In some ways, this chain of recounting juicy stories stretches all the way back to Homer’s recitation of The Odyssey. And if you’re thinking of recording a disco re-telling of Odysseus’ adventures, please call me. I’d love to participate.

Thanks for the great request, James!