"Hanky Panky," Madonna (1990)

A big-band bop for bad, bad girls

Peak: #10 on the Hot 100
Streams: 4 million

In 1990 Madonna was at the absolute peak of her career, so that was pretty much the only time she could’ve sent a song like “Hanky Panky” into the top 10.

I don’t mean the song is bad. In fact, I like it quite a bit. What I mean is that in 1990, an artist had to be in her imperial phase to turn big-band song about getting spanked into a chart success.

Though the lyrics sound incredibly tame today, they caused something of a stir back in the George H.W. Bush years. Over a jumpy beat that would’ve sounded right at home during the swing music era, Madonna frankly explains that she doesn’t want a guy who sweet talks her. She wants a guy who’ll give her a nice firm slap on the fanny. For some radio stations, this was just too much. There were women’s groups in Ireland who accused Madonna of using this song to condone domestic violence. (Back then, getting mad at Madonna was one of the culture’s favorite pastimes.)

But more than the lyrical content, it’s the throwback sound that makes “Hanky Panky” an unlikely hit. The song is inspired by Breathless Mahoney, the character Madonna played in the movie Dick Tracy, and since the film is set in the 1930s, the music naturally evokes that period. However, the songs of MC Hammer and Wilson Phillips do not sound like this, you know? That’s probably why the song had a very brief run on the Hot 100 and didn’t get a music video. It was a trifle — something to tide people over before The Immaculate Collection came out at the end of that yea.

Still, “Hanky Panky” is a great. The bouncy horns are undeniable. The lyrics are playful and silly and (if you ask me) obviously meant as a joke. The last verse is about how the doctor gave her a “spanky” on the day she was born, and she knew right then that she liked things a little rough. Madonna knows she’s goofing. We know she’s goofing. And her vocal, sung with brassy attitude in her lower range, makes the whole thing even more fun.

Meanwhile, for a lost hit, this one has still been pretty influential. It’s part of an Ally McBeal episode. It soundtracks this fabulously ludicrous dance video. And it’s an obvious inspiration for Christina Aguilera’s “Candyman.”

I’ve written about Madonna a couple of times here on The Lost Songs Project, and I will say again that even if her only hits were the ones we’ve now forgotten, she’d still have one of the most interesting discographies in pop music. So let’s give “Hanky Panky” a round of applause. If you think about it, clapping is just a way to make your hands spank each other.

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