"Heaven on the 7th Floor," Paul Nicholas (1977)

A spiritual prequel to an Aerosmith classic

Peak: #6 on the Hot 100
Streams: 170,000

You might assume Aerosmith is the only act with a hit single about romance in a stuck elevator. But 12 years before they blessed us with “Love in an Elevator,” Paul Nicholas delivered “Heaven on the 7th Floor.”

Here’s the song’s plot: A guy is in an elevator with a woman, and when he asks her out, she says, “Never!” But then — oops! — the elevator gets stuck. As they’re waiting to escape their tiny metal prison, the dude starts thinking romance is in the air. Even after the woman tells him to hurry up and call someone on the emergency phone, he hopes the maintenance crew takes their sweet time. He figures if he can get a few extra minutes with this lady, she’ll fall for him.

This is creepy! This woman doesn’t want to talk to this man, yet he will not leave her alone. I’m sure she doesn’t think she’s in heaven on the 7th floor. She’s probably reaching around in her purse for her mace.

However, if we look past the narrative ickiness, “Heaven On the 7th Floor” just might get us dancing. The song isn’t merely uptempo. It’s caffeinated. There are cowbells and handclaps and nonstop vocal adlibs on practically every second of the track. The tempo is faster than a hummingbird’s heartbeat. If you were in a disco in 1977 and the cocaine had just kicked in, then this song would mimic the speed of your thoughts. I’m stone cold sober as I write this, and it even makes me feel jittery, like I need to get up and boogie just to burn off some energy.

Matching this vibe, Paul Nicholas’s vocal is playful and alive, and even in the midst of all that sound, he stands out as the ringleader of the circus. Unsurprisingly, he’s also had a long career in musical theater, where that kind of showmanship serves you well. Over in England, he originated the role of Rum Tum Tugger in Cats, then played the lead in shows like Barnum, Fiddler on the Roof, and Camelot.

And that’s just part of it. Nicholas is also a British TV star, had several big hits on the UK’s pop charts, and has produced dozens of musicals through his production company. He’s popular enough that he wrote an autobiography with a deliciously over-the-top title.

Ironically, “Heaven on the 7th Floor” wasn’t a hit in the U.K. I’m amused that Paul Nicholas’s only American success was ignored by the country that made him famous. I’m tempted to see if he writes about this in his book. If you have a copy I can borrow, let me know.